Ben Affleck’s The Accountant films are about accounting. They might not exactly mirror your day-to-day – for instance, the accountant in The Accountant might shoot a lot more guns than you, and he might deal with more assassins than you’re used to but, given the lack of accountants onscreen, we’ll take what we’re given.
But what if accountants demanded more? What if we amassed outside the bigwigs’ studios in Hollywood and called for a realistic film about accountants – one with more biscuits and cups of tea.
Well, it may end up looking a little something… like this.
📉 The Accountant 3: The Spreadsheet
In this instalment, Christian Wolff is called into a major business to streamline its processes. As he talks to employees, he gets the sense that everything’s working perfectly – perhaps even too perfectly. There are no obvious bottlenecks, and everyone working there seems delighted. After an offhand remark about Excel has someone storm off, Wolff realises something isn’t quite right.
After an experience with a senior manager gets Wolff so frustrated he shakes him by the lapels, he’s thrown off the case. But he can’t let it go, and using a VPN hacks into the organisation’s shared folders. Here, he finds it; a spreadsheet so large it’s in the gigabytes. The camera zooms in on his face as he becomes increasingly panicked – absolutely everything is on it.
He lurks outside the office, and follows the member of staff who stormed off at the mention of Excel to a local bar. There, he ambushes them, demanding to learn more about the sheet. They’re startled, but eventually explain that people only understand parts of it, never the whole. One team knows the revenue tabs, another handles costs, and someone else "keeps an eye” on the macros, though no one is entirely sure what they do anymore. Over time, it’s grown, expanded, adapted, taking on a logic of its own.
Then, the colleague offers to show him "the room”. They sneak back into the office, and down into the basement, where a group of newly qualified accountants march around a giant wooden wheel, which in turn, throws buckets of cold water over a steaming server stack. "My God”, says Wolff, taking off his sunglasses. (Does he wear sunglasses? I haven’t seen any of them.)
Wolff demands admin privileges, and he puts a gun in pretty much everyone’s face trying to get it. When one young IT worker relents, Wolff gets to work ordering the spreadsheet. And I guess this is the climax? So, the boss tries to stop him and here it’s revealed that his dead daughter made the original spreadsheet. So, they have a fight. And Wolff wins and that’s the end. It won’t win any Oscars but you can imagine streaming it while you do something else.
💡 The Accountant 3: Continuous Professional Development
Wolff is brought in to a Big Four firm after an ACCA audit reveals something uncomfortable. On paper, everyone’s hit their CPD hours but, in reality, half the firm has been running webinars on mute on one screen while watching a film on the other. Mostly from Ben Affleck’s excellent back catalogue. Gigli or Daredevil maybe.
The consequences are starting to show – knowledge is slipping, judgement is slower, and all the employees are wildly behind on technological know-how. Wolff notices one accountant, tongue stuck out, using an abacus. Another is outside, drawing calculations in the mud with a stick.
Wolff decides to check out the CPD firsthand, and is shocked to discover that it’s shoddily made. It doesn’t seem like a group of in-house editors have touched it at all, and the expertise of the writers is debatable to say the least. Closing his MacBook with disgust, Wolff remarks, "this CPD belongs in the trash”, and tips his laptop into the bin next to him.
The next day, Wolff demands to see the head honcho. Furious, he crashes into his office and screams at him to switch to the best provider he knows. These people need to make up a hell of a lot of hours. So, the next day, the company gets its learning entirely from AccountingCPD. How do you like them apples? And Wolff says this also.
The difference is immediate. The content is so interactive! There are fun tests, case studies that reflect real decisions, and scenarios that force you to think. There are even discussions, facilitating actual engagement with other professionals, not just passive listening.
Gradually, the shift happens. Accountants are more engaged, they’re happier, and they’re laughing and sharing jokes and things. He still sees one watching Argo, but that’s fair enough, it’s a great picture.
🖥️ The Accountant 3: Making Tax Digital
Christian Wolff accepts a special mission in Stoke-on-Trent, UK, to support a regional firm preparing for Making Tax Digital.
On paper, it’s straightforward. It’s a sensible evolution, and organisations have had absolutely yonks to prepare for it.
In reality, it’s something else entirely. Clients don’t understand it, don’t want it, or are absolutely certain it doesn’t apply to them. One insists HMRC will "probably just fix it at their end.” Another has been keeping immaculate records… in a notebook. A third proudly announces they’re "going fully digital” before emailing over a photo of a spreadsheet. And that just makes Wolff mad.
He starts to notice the two fresh-faced auditors he’s been asked to supervise are reaching a tipping point – not just stressed, but drifting somewhere close to madness. He sees one eat a receipt. The other rocks back and forth in his chair with a superior smile, but completely dead behind the eyes.
Wolff chuckles wryly. He says something like, "some days, I wish I had an easier job, like being an army man.” Obviously not that, because no one over 12 says "army man”, but you get the spirit. Anyway, he’s totally composed in this one, unlike the other two where he flies off the rails. He’s kind of above it all, and there’s actually very little drama in this film.
Instead of doing something interesting, Wolff starts building systems. He maps workflows, sets boundaries, introduces structure where there was none. He simplifies what can be simplified and contains what can’t. Slowly, methodically, the noise starts to quieten.
The auditors brighten; their cynicism turned to complete surprise. They garble out half-words: "how, what?” Wolff openly laughs at them, and in a booming voice declares himself the best accountant in the world. Then he flies up at the screen like Neo at the end of The Matrix.
🧠 Final thoughts
The truth is, real accounting probably wouldn’t make a great action film. Despite our best attempts, it’s hard to write the big final scene when you’re basically locked in on the star being on the computer.
And that’s okay. We don’t watch films to remind us of our day-jobs. If you were the kind of accountant in The Accountant, you’d probably watch something totally boring and drawn-out, like a Chuck Norris film, to relax. But you’re an accountant, so you watch The Accountant, which thankfully, is nothing like your 9-5.
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